Buying coaching (L&D)
I’ve sat with enough senior leaders now to know this:
Very few of the real challenges show up in a competency framework.
They show up in the pause before a difficult conversation.
In the tension between two board members who “respect” each other but don’t trust each other.
In the newly promoted director, who suddenly feels exposed. In the high performer who quietly burns out while appearing completely composed.
And if you work in L&D, you see this too.
You might not always be able to name it. But you feel it.
The Bit We Don’t Say Out Loud
Most organisations don’t struggle because their leaders lack intelligence.
They struggle because leadership becomes heavier as you rise.
More ambiguity.
More visibility.
More consequences.
Less honest feedback.
And somewhere along the way, many leaders start operating from pressure rather than presence.
That shift is subtle — but costly.
Meetings become sharper.
Listening reduces.
Defensiveness creeps in.
Avoidance increases.
Teams feel it before anyone names it.
By the time L&D is asked to “do something,” the pattern is already embedded.
What Coaching Actually Does (When It’s Done Properly)
Coaching isn’t about polishing strengths.
It’s about increasing capacity.
Capacity to:
Sit in discomfort without reacting
Have the conversation you’ve been postponing
Hold complexity without oversimplifying
Separate ego from decision-making
Influence without control
Stay steady when the room isn’t
That kind of development doesn’t happen in a workshop.
It happens in sustained, psychologically safe, appropriately challenging dialogue.
It happens when someone holds up a mirror — not to criticise, but to expand perspective.
What I Often Hear From L&D (In Quieter Moments)
When I speak to Heads of L&D or Talent, what I often hear is:
“We have strong leaders. But something’s missing.”
Or:
“They’re capable. But they struggle relationally.”
Or:
“We promote excellent performers — and then they stall.”
Underneath that is usually a deeper concern:
Succession risk
Cultural drift
Senior team tension
Unspoken politics
Retention at leadership level
Coaching, when aligned well, doesn’t just support the individual.
It reduces those wider risks.
But only if it’s integrated thoughtfully — with clear contracting, stakeholder alignment, and a real link to business outcomes.
Otherwise, it becomes a well-intentioned perk.
Coaching Is Not Neutral
Every coach you bring into your organisation reinforces something.
They reinforce:
What accountability looks like
Whether challenge is welcomed or softened
Whether leaders take ownership or externalise
Whether vulnerability is strength or weakness
Coaching shapes culture quietly.
And because it happens behind closed doors, its impact is often underestimated.
A Pattern I’ve Noticed
Across over 100 assignments — from mid-management through to senior and Tier 2 leaders — I’ve noticed something consistent:
When a leader increases self-awareness and emotional regulation, the ripple effect is disproportionate.
Team meetings shift tone.
Escalations reduce.
Clarity improves.
Stakeholders lean in rather than pull away.
It’s not dramatic.
It’s steady.
But it compounds.
And L&D feels the difference.
If I Were Sitting in Your Seat
If I were leading L&D in a regulated, high-performance environment, I would want coaching that:
Understands commercial pressure
Works systemically, not just individually
Is rigorous in contracting
Is comfortable challenging senior leaders
Doesn’t create dependency
Feeds learning back into the wider leadership agenda
Because coaching shouldn’t operate in isolation.
It should strengthen your leadership pipeline, reduce behavioural risk, and support cultural coherence.
Quietly. Consistently. Over time.
A Final Reflection
The organisations that will thrive over the next decade won’t just have capable leaders.
They’ll have leaders who can stay grounded under pressure.
Who can regulate themselves before regulating others.
Who can hold tension without transmitting it.
That level of leadership doesn’t emerge through content alone.
It develops in conversation.
If you’re reviewing your coaching panel, rethinking succession, or reflecting on how to deepen leadership capacity rather than just broaden skillsets — I’m always open to a thoughtful conversation.
Because L&D isn’t just delivering programmes.
You’re shaping the emotional and behavioural tone of the organisation.
And that work deserves depth.